Happy Birthday Mia & Kai!!

WHOA... Hello blog world! Its been long..way too stinking long since I have posted. Life has been pretty much in fast forward for the past eh, year? I had made a promise to myself that this last year I was going to get in mommy zone and enjoy every waking moment of my kids lives. I wanted to relish in the little things instead of worrying about "whats next" or "what needs to be done around here". I can honestly say that I have really lived this past year. I mean really, I survived..WE survived!

Dear Mia Fumiko,
Tomorrow you turn 1 year old. How? How is it that I was JUST crying my eyes out, practically begging to be pregnant? I can tell you the truth.. I only prayed for 1 baby. Never in a million years did I ever think I was worthy of raising TWO babies at once. I didn't think I was one of the "chosen twin mamas", but I am sure glad god chose me to be your mama. I can clearly replay the day our Dr. told us we would be expecting you and your brother. I was in complete disbelief. I cried. I cried some more. I laughed..hysterically. I hugged Mylee TIGHT. I was so afraid I would not be able to give all 3 of you kids everything you deserved from a mama. I was scared... after you experience a miscarriage, you are in constant fear, but now I was expecting twins and there was MUCH more to be afraid of. So many things could go wrong- but they didn't. Dream pregnancy. You and Kai Kai were so so good to mama. I felt GREAT. I was giant, but I embraced every pound gained! The day you were born you showed us your personality. Your bag of waters broke at about 5:30 am when I rolled over in bed. I hopped up quickly so I wouldn't soak the bed. I wobbled to the bathroom where I changed then decided to get back into bed. I cuddled Mylee so so much. I laid there for about 30 mins and then the contractions started immediately at 5 mins apart. I knew this labor would be like Mylee's birth, fast. I finally woke up daddy; "Weston, don't freak out--- but My water broke a little bit ago. My contractions are 5 mins apart." Daddy was so funny. He was so worried about what we should do while I was just wanting to stay in bed a rest. We finally went to the hospital when my contractions were about 3 mins apart. A few hours later I got the epidural knowing that your brother was breech and there was a big chance the Dr would need to internally flip him. almost immediately I felt you forcing your way out! I told the nurse that "it was time" but they had to call my Dr and get a whole big staff of Dr's ready in the OR (Just in case!). I remember just forcing my body to hold you inside. As soon as we got set up to push, I pushed ONE time and you literally shot out. My Dr actually caught you! My little tiny 5 pound 2 ounce Mia Fumiko was born! Crying and so so pretty! I cried, Daddy cried, Grammy cried. You were perfect. I was so happy to hear that sound I longed for! I was so proud to be your mommy! The next two weeks were the happiest, scariest, and most trying time of my life. You were fierce. You held it together for Brother. You kept me sane while I could not hold or touch Kai Kai. Everyone commented on what a little peanut you were, yet you were as content as could be. So small. so sweet. so perfect. I couldnt get over how your arm was just barely as big as my thumb. I wish I could find that picture. You are my tiny little miracle. We are a year in and I couldn't imagine our lives without you. You make me laugh, you are so gentle. You LOVE your brother bear so so much. You make this silly "old lady" voice that cracks every one up! You love saying "whoaaaaa" and "Uhh Da!". You are 17 pounds of love. You are my sweet girl. My best baby girl. I love you oh so much Mia Pia puddin' pie!!! Happy 1st Birthday sweet lovey bug!!! Mama loves you SO!

Love,
Mama

Dearest Kai Michael,
Oh my sweet boy. I had no idea how much my life would change when we found out we were expecting not only twins, but a BOY at that! I was so excited! Your daddy's face lit up when the Dr. announced that there was a little boy in my belly. I could not wait to see what awesomeness you would bring into our family and a home of barbies and princess'. You started your entrance into this world with a little bit of a harder start, but I can honestly say that I am thankful for that. I am SO grateful for those crazy, insane, torturous days because now I can relish in the fact that you are well! After Mia was born you were supposed to "flip to head down", but you didn't. You wanted mama. You didnt budge. The Dr. tried to externally flip you, didn't work. I had these crazy urges to push so I asked the Dr if I could just push you out- she assisted by pulling your feet down into position while I pushed you out feet first. We joke about this sooo being your personality. You are my little mama's  boy. You were so happy where you were, I had to force you out. As soon as you were born I knew something wash't right. You were laid on my belly immediately. You were blue. No crying like Mia was. I was afraid. I was looking around for what seemed like eternity for a Dr to take you off of me and tell me you were ok. Once you were taken off of me I could hear mumbling and then commotion. Your lungs were not as "elastic" as Mia's. You needed a little bit of extra help to get those lungs going. When the Respiratory therapist bagged you, he accidentally tore your tiny little lung. I had no idea what this meant. It wasn't until later when I realized how serious this all was. I just remember the neonatologist coming into our room and asking to talk to "the parents" and everyone else needed to leave. It brought me back to Mylee's birth. When we went to visit you and Mia, you were hooked up to so many things. It scared the life out of me. Chest tube, IV's, feeding tube... too many tubes. I cried, I cried for you, I cried for Mia and Mylee. I wanted to show you off, but I couldnt. You were supposed to be wiggling and snuggling us- but you couldnt. I was so so sad! I told all of our friends and family about you. You looked sooo much like uncle James and Justin. While I was sitting and holding Mia you kept forgetting to breath. Machines would go crazy and the Dr's would have to shake you to get your heart rate back up. I had to leave. I knew this was not good. The dr met us in our room to tell us they had to intubate our sweet boy. I was EXTREMELY nervous to walk into that NICU and see my baby boy with a tube down your throat, not moving. As the next few days approached the hosiptal made mommy and daddy go home. We spent one night home where I cried and cried and cried hysterically. I couldnt sleep. 2 of my 3 babies were 15 mins away from us. I hated getting up to pump in the middle of the night and calling the NICU to check on you guys, I wanted to kiss you and just stare at you. The next day is when we began our Hospital parking lot camping trip :). Mommy, Daddy, and Mylee all camped in the parking lot so that we could be as close as possible to you and sister. I was there for every single feeding, every bath, every shot, every test, every moment I could. Daddy was such a help. Mylee got to spend lots of time with Grammy, Grandpa, and Grandma. When you were healthy enough to come home I could not wait for you to meet your big sister! She did not like having to stay in the waiting room every time we visited you! When we got home I loved on you soo soo much. No cords or tubes to get in the way! You always wanted to cuddle on Mia. You always (and still do!) move your head to be as close as possible to her when you sleep. I have never seen a little boy love his sister as much as you do. You always follow Mia around the house. You kiss her and stroke her face. You make us all laugh with your silly sounds and big facial expressions. You trick everyone else by acting so serious, saving all your silliness for us. I love that you are so snuggly. You are nick named my "little lap dog" because you would be perfectly content sitting on my lap (or really anyones) all day.  You study all the toys. I love how you smell when you wake up from nap, little sweaty baby. You are such a blessing to our lives. You have taught me patience in gods timing and brought a new dynamic to our family. I never knew that having a boy could be this much fun! I love you so much my Kai Kai brother bear!!! Happy 1st Birthday!
XO

Love,
Mommy


Dear friends and family,

THANK YOU! Thank you for the support over this past year +pregnancy of twins! It has been the most rewarding journey.. difficult at times, but mostly awesome. We have adjusted to a family of 5 perfectly. I am loving this life. We have fun. So much always going on in the Neuschafer home, and I wouldn't have it any other way! I am excited to see what this year holds for not only the Neuschafer twins, but also for our family! Stay tuned, as I am back to the blogging world! Love to you all!!

XO
-Erica

Hello Sleep

Ok, so the babies are pretty great sleepers to begin with ( Products of the NICU- not bothered by noise, light, touch, and can be swaddled and laid down..hooray!). Their schedule usually looks like this:

8:15pm:Baths
8:45pm:Feed
9pm:down to sleep
2:30am:change and feed
5:30am:change and feed
8:30am:change/dress/feed (awake time  until next feed)
12pm:change/feed/down to sleep
3pm: *they a lot of times sleep through this feed* change/feed
6pm:change/feed (awake time until bath)

And, sometimes they/one of them will try to sleep through the 2:30am feed, but I wake them up (read:my boobs are killing me).

WELL, last night they BOTH slept from 9pm-4:30am!!!!!! I totally just slept through the night and must have exhausted due to my lack of feeling the pain of missing some feedings!

*For the record (my record)- they are 7weeks old, Mylee slept through the night for the first time at 4weeks.


And yes, I know, I totally just jinxed myself and will most likely have a terrible nights sleep tonight,

That is all.

Thank YOU!

I really just wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all of the calls, tets, meals, gifts, hugs, tears, and most of all prayers. We had a very emotional two weeks to start off the twins life, and it has barely slowed down. We would not have been able to get through the hardest time without the support from all of our friends and family members. You guys didn't forget about us when we got home either...we have received an incredible amount of love. The meals have been a true blessing (and delicious!!!). Ask my husband...we would not have eaten otherwise :). Everyone has been wonderful! If you have the itch to come hold a baby-please  don't hesitate to ask! We would love extra hands to hold a baby or two.. :)

THANK YOU ALL!!!!! XOXO

P.S. If I have a container or dish of yours I apologize for not getting it back to you yet. I am still not allowed to lift anything heavier than a baby (meaning I can't lift Mylee), so we dont get out of the house often :(. If you would like to stop by, I can always leave it out front for you :).

Mia & Kai's Birth Story

 So I have a lot of catch up to do with my blog posts..so stay with me!


On April 15th, 2012 our world was rocked. Not only did we welcome one small piece of heaven into our lives, but we welcomed TWO sweet sweet gifts from god into our family. We are now a family of 5!

At approx 4:45am on April 15th I woke up (to turn over to my other side..yes this is what a twin pregnancy will get you). As I turned over a felt a pretty big gush of water. I jumped out of bed to save our mattress and wobbled to the bathroom. I leaked all over the bathroom floor as I tried to wake up and figure out what exactly was going on. I knew I was not peeing my pants..I knew the feeling of a breaking water (my water also broke unexpectedly early with Mylee). I hadn't had any contractions nor signs of real labor so I knew this would be a similar birth to Mylee's. I waited until about 6am to tell Weston that my water had broken. I didn't want to startle him or anyone else until I really needed to. We called our parents and let them know what was going on. Westons mom was going to come over to take care of Mylee while my mom met us at the hospital. I called the on call OBGYN and he wanted me to head straight to the hospital due to my fast labor and delivery of Mylee and the fact that baby B (Kai) was still breech. I was completely procrastinating...I did not want to leave the house...I paced, picked up the living room...and hugged Mylee so tight.

We got to the hospital a little past 7:30am. They wanted to check to see if indeed my water did break so they did the little strip test and sent it to the lab. I was a little irritated because I KNEW my water broke...and I wanted to just get into my hypnobirthing zone instead of being asked questions over and over again. When they confirmed it was amniotic fluid they check me..I was almost a 4. I got into my zone..breathing, relaxing every muscle I could control, and visioning labor progressing. The on call OB came in to talk to us and to do an ultrasound to see the positions of the babies. When he saw that baby B was breech he got a little freaked out. He started talking to me about all these terrible things that could happen if his head got stuck...if he could not get him out in time etc. He tried to talk me into a C-section in the midst of my contractions. Weston and I knew how MY obgyn was in the vaginal delivery we wanted and so we stuck to our guns. The on call dr was not thrilled..he was actually quite irritated with the fact that we would "put our baby in harm". I started to get discouraged...I had just gotten to the hospital and was already being told I should not attempt a vaginal twin breech birth... I just wanted MY dr!!!  I begged the nurse to call my Dr. They told us that our dr NEVER EVER comes in when she is not on call and never writes in orders to call her. I was bummed. I knew she was confident in our plan and I really started to think I couldnt do it without her..so I prayed..HARD. At some point praying worked... we got word that by the grace of god, my Dr. popped in the hospital on her way to go on a hike. When she saw my name on file she told the nurses that she wanted to deliver me! My nurse was shocked that she was going to come deliver me on a Sunday...on her day off. I was SO EXCITED!

At this point I sent Weston away to continue working on a memorial slide show/video for a very dear friend who had just lost his father. He went into the lobby and scanned pictures while he could (the funeral was the next day and I knew he wouldn't get another chance to finish his project). It was such a bizarre time for Weston..he was dealing with life and death on the same day...waiting for his twins to be born and scanning old pictures of a wonderful man who suddenly was gone. Such a mix of emotions.

I labored the same way I was able to with Mylee's birth. Breathing, silent, and in control. I was not able to get up very much though...this was a bummer for me, but because they needed to monitor both babies it was hard to walk around. I did sneak in some "I need to go to the bathroom" walks :).
At about 10am I was checked again and now at a 6. Since we were going for the breech delivery I had decided I would get an epidural when I felt I needed it since it was VERY likely that the Dr would need to reach up and pull Kai out by his feet...something I was not in favor of feeling. So, I asked for it although I was still in complete control and felt pretty good.

My mom told the nurse that she thought the babies would be here by noon. The nurse laughed and said "I think it will be soon, but not THAT soon". The anesthesiologist was taking way too long and I was feeling pressure. I called Weston and told him it was almost time. The anesthesiologist got there at 11:40am (yes, 1hr and 40mins after I asked for it!).. and at 12pm I felt like I needed to push. The nurses were freaking out because everyone needed to be prepped to head to the OR to deliver. They called my Dr to come back to the hospital. When we got to the OR everyone was still scrubbing and getting set up (all while I swear I was holding Mia in). As soon as the Dr told me I could push when I was ready to, I did. She  told me to "hold on a sec" as the head came out-but I couldn't. I pushed Mia out with one push at 12:28am. She came out crying-the most beautiful sound ever! Then, the on call Ob (the one who did not want me to vaginally deliver) started pushing on my stomach..trying to get Kai to flip. My Dr reach up and decided he would be delivered breech because he wasn't budging. with her one hand in my uterus and her eyes closed-she managed to grab both of his feet through the sac and pull his feet down. I gave one big push and Kai was delivered breech at 12:33pm!

I will need to get some pictures off of Westons camera and video Camera!
 

Here is their birth announcement (well a cell phone picture of the actual announcement).... the stack of these has been sitting at our house for a few weeks now. They will be mailed out soon!! ((along with my baby shower Thank you notes..so sorry everyone, I didnt think I'd only have 2 weeks in between my shower and the births!))

2 weeks PostPartum

Yep, I'm doing it. Reverse pregnancy photos. I am hoping this will help me stay accountable to getting my body back into to a more recognizable "shape". I finally weighed myself and *thank you sweet baby Jesus* I've lost more than I gained..like a lot more. I know it doesn't look like it...my body is all squishy...but hey I'll take it! I'll give credit to the fact that for 2 weeks I was pumping at least 64ounces of Breast Milk per day.....plus nursing. Now, I just hope I can keep it up :). I am hoping to get my birth story written ASAP..stay tuned!

P.S. Thank you all soooooo much for keeping our babies in your thoughts and prayers as we endured some of the toughest days of our lives. So happy to be home with both babies!

OH and I know a lot of people have been asking "can we help out in any way?" and now you can..if you want :). My SIL was so kind to set up a meal train for us. Please do not feel like you have to, but if you would like to help with meals you can do so here!


THANK YOU!!!

Update 4/25 7am

I'm sorry, I totally was a crazy person yesterday and didn't have time to give anyone an update.

When I went it to nurse the babies at 8am they each had a gift for me in their beds. Weston had gone up to see them really early and set them there. It was a nice was to start the day! They each got me a chew beads necklace! Super cute! Weston and mylee also had a pile of fun gifts for me along with a Starbucks and nutella donut :).

I was running back and forth to te hospital and by the time I actually sat down, I realized I had only been out of the hospital for an hour total for the entire day. I almost had *another* break down. How will I keep doing this for another possible 5-9 days?!?! ( this is what a nurse told me). I don't think I can mentally, emotionally, physically do this... But then again, these are OUT babies and I want them healthy!!!

Later yesterday afternoon/ night Wes and I went up to bathe the babies!!! We have been trying to do so for two days now but there was always something crazy going on in the nicu. They look so refreshed now! We also got a chance to talk to the dr. We were both on high stress mode and Wes was ready to attack! I asked the dr to explain the feeding protocol step program to us AGAIN, she then told us we can throw out that method and feed them on demand (hello!!! This is what we should have been doing!! This is what I've been asking for 9 days now!!) earlier in the day Mia completely took her feeding tube out, so we also took Kai's out for his bath. When the dr saw then without tubes in she told us we could leave them out!!!! Yay!!! So, as of right now, they are both "ad lib" feeding and have their tubes out!!! They looks so so good with those nasty tubes gone from their faces!! Now we are on to praying Mia stops "acting like a preemie". A few days ago her heart rate dropped and so now this is why we have to stay longer... To watch mia.

Oh how the tables have turned... Kai could be ready to go home before Mia.... Seems crazy considering how intense Kai's first few days of life were. We were even told that Kai would not have made of a,b,&c were not done. I'm thankful for the drs who were able to help Kai :)

I'll update later when or if I know more. Pray for Mia and Kai to keep getting stronger, eating well, and no more apnea scares!!! Thank you all! Xo

Breast feeding/pumping

Ok seriously just pumped 16 ounces in one session, and still managed to soak my shirt and the hospital gown. I am officially a cow.